Keepin' the Faith

2011-02-04T13:48:00.001-06:00

Post from my phone!

Can FSH be TOO low??

2011-02-03T13:40:00.001-06:00

So I had my cd3 labs today and my doctor called herself to tell me my #s. FSH is 1.4! She was super-excited and said she'd never seen FSH that low and that I had the ovary of an 18yr old! I got off the phone all giddy!

Then I googled it like a BAD little girl.

Apparently a low FSH can mean PCOS, Kleinfelter syndrome and other things. Now I'm worried. Did my endo get cleared only to start a new set of problems? Or am I just being weird. My doc did not seem concerned AT ALL. Matter of fact she was the opposite. Also, I'm really on cd2 (Brett's g-ma passed away and her funeral is tomorrow-cd3-in Omaha) and I wasn't full flow until yesterday early afternoon. Could it be too soon???

Someone tell me it's alright and I'm freaked out over nothing.

LAP is DONE!

2011-01-13T12:43:00.000-06:00

Well I had my LAP yesterday. So glad it's over and soooooo glad I did it. Got some interesting news. My R ovary and tube did have some stage 2 endo, which was cleaned up and she's ready to go. My L ovary and tube.....well....I don't have one. Yep, found that out! It makes sooo much sense. All the times that coochie cam was stuck up in me so far I'm sure they were looking at my esophagus. It just explains so much. I didn't get to see my doc after the surgery, but when she talked to Brett and to my mom she seemed almost excited that we found this out and nothing at all made her concerned about our IVF plans. So we'll see.

I have a post-op on the 27th where I will be asking many questions. 1) How WILL this affect IVF. I was sorta counting on 2 ovaries and around 15-20 eggs, now I'm assuming it will only be around 10 or possibly less. 2) How come my old doctors did not see this? When they did my HSG wouldn't they have seen that there wasn't a tube on my L side? I'm seriously trying to not be irritated and give them the benefit of the doubt. Is it possibly that my L side was just in bad shape and "dissolved" into my body?

I don't think knowing this earlier on would change the circumstance we're in. Brett's #s have never improved and we'd still be doing IVF. The main reason I would have liked to have known sooner is so I wouldn't have had a coochie cam stuck up in me for 30-45min. at a time looking for that stupid L ovary. : p

Started BCPs!!!!!!

2010-12-16T10:47:00.000-06:00

Tentatively looking at a ER and ET in beginning of March, but I'm having the LAP in Jan. so we're starting this show. My ovaries should be good and relaxed by the time I start all this that's for sure!!

Life isn't fair

2010-11-07T15:42:00.000-06:00

It's just not.

I've never been a jealous person, but I can't help sometimes wondering how come good things happen to some people and not others. How does God or whoever decide who gets the good things and who gets to take a trip through the crapper. I'm not begrudging the people who have these wonderful things happen to them but how is the decision made. I'm starting to not buy the whole "everything happens for a reason" bit or " God has a plan" b/c I feel that God is Love and there's no way that He would torture me and other women like we've been tortured dealing w fertility issues. It's a pain that is more emotional than physical (We all know that women have higher thresholds for physical pain than men). I'm just tired of watching friends and loved ones and even myself suffer.

I'm okay. Nothing has happened to me. Just someone close.

We got the SA #s back and they are not good. 11mil count, 17% motility and 1% morph. We have an IVF consult on Dec. 14. I am probably going to do the LAP in Jan (insurance purposes). My doc says that if we do IVF we would not need the LAP, but I just feel that I want to give this the best possible shot. Any thoughts on IF I have endo how that would affect concieving through IVF and even carrying a child?

Some good news!

2010-10-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

Brett was at his new Endocrinologist the other day and he was explaining our fertility history and his variocele surgery. The doc asked who our RE was and Brett explained about the 2 appts. and low and behold his diabetes doc is the husband of RE#2!! He told Brett he'd see what he could do to get us in sooner and I got the phone call yesterday and they're able to get us in next week!!! I'm so excited! I was running around all day yesterday getting things faxed and copied and dropping stuff off. Oh and the nurse seemed to think that my insurance would cover fertility treatment. So I looked it up and although it does not cover IUI or IVF it blatantly says there is 80% coverage for meds and nurses appts. With our other insurance they were having to claim something different in order for it to be covered so this way it's all laid out on the table.

Wahoo!!

It's Me Again!!!!

2010-09-23T13:28:00.001-05:00

Nothing new on the baby front though : (

Just a quick update. Not gonna give the long version; I've found out that I tend to ramble and get bored w myself so I get tired of typing. Ha! So here's the short:

Brett and I moved to Lubbock, Texas in August. Brett is the academic director for football at Texas Tech. Our attitude towards this move has been that it's an adventure. And what's more adventurous than a roller coaster ride (aka TTC)???? So we're standing in line, waiting to board!

So here's the breakdown. There are 2 RE offices in Lubbock. I made an appt. w both! haha. I didn't mean to do that, but RE #1 doesn't take my health insurance and we don't get Brett's until Nov. so I called RE #2 . Their first available appt. is in FEBRUARY! I went ahead and made the appt and called the other place back to see if they Brett's insurance and since they do I went ahead and made an appt. for Nov. 4. I figured that if things don't jibe w RE #1 then we have our "backup" appt.

Now here's the other thing....You know how you get "packets" to fill out when you first see an RE? Well, the RE#1 packet came and it's a small envelope w 5 pages. 2 pages explain the cancellation policy. 2 pages of personal info and 1 page signing to do an HIV test. RE#2's packet came in an big manila envelope w a folder and boatload of paperwork that I have yet to go through. That's how the packet from ART of Alabama came. Does that seem strange to yall? One is extensive and one isnt. I think I filled out 4 pages of personal info w my chiropractor! I've never done an HIV test and it's not that I have a problem w doing it but why?? I never did that w ART. Like I said I haven't gone through all of RE#2's packet so I may have to do one there too. The other thing is w RE#1 I have to do a nurses consultation. It has to be done or my appt. in Nov. will be canceled. I guess they do things different there? Never heard of that.

Anywho, that's the jist of what's going on w us. We're still waiting. Every month I hope for a miracle. I guess I should know better.

Posting is HARD!

2009-03-06T09:32:00.002-06:00

I started this blog as a form of therapy in this process. After TAB and starting back up again, deciding on IVF and finding out it was out of our reach at the moment, taking another break and starting back up again and still no baby, no pregnancy, nothing even close, I'm not sure if I can do it anymore. Every time I post on this blog it's something negative, or something promising that usually ends up in the negative.

We just did an INJ/IUI cycle; first time with INJ. I had 6 follicles, thick lining and everything was timed perfectly, we even SAW the sperm wash in the uterus and SAW the follicles breaking in the after-IUI u/s. It's not the first time that we had it all the right. Now don't get me wrong, I do believe in God plan. That's what gets me through. I'm so thankful for my faith; otherwise, I believe the fight inside of me would have died. That's not what this post is about. I'm not giving up treatment. I'm just not sure if I can post about it anymore. Everytime I do it's like a reminder that we still do not have a child. Even with promising news such as 6 follicles, there was always that possibility that it wouldn't work and of course it didn't. It's just getting depressing.

I might feel up to it again. I do have another blog where I post the fun stuff that Brett and I get to do together. If any of you are on Facebook, PLEASE look me up...Audra Wohlers. I think a few of you that come here when I post something new are my friends already on there, but there are a couple of you who I would like to remain in contact with so that I can keep tabs on you and your pregnancies and progress with IF treatment.

Anywho, sorry I'm being so depressing. I just thought I would fill you in on why I don't post as much. God Bless You!!

It's me again!

2009-02-08T22:19:00.002-06:00

Yea, I know it's been a while. 2 months to be exact. Nothing going on to report. We took 2 months off for the holidays.

But....now we're off! I've got a baseline appt. tomorrow morning and tomorrow night I'll start Follistim! I'm ready to get this ball rolling again. As of right now I'm not tooooo nervous about the shots. We'll see how tomorrow goes though. Wish me luck.

I guess I'll start reporting more. Hopefully, I'll have something GREAT to report in about a month!

Off Topic

2008-12-09T10:03:00.001-06:00

Hey check out my other blog for an important announcement!

www.banda13.blogspot.com

Thanks for your help!!

BFN

2008-12-08T12:58:00.002-06:00

Took a test yesterday...12dptrigger shot and this morning both were negative. I'm of course bummed. I think mostly because 2 weeks ago I was SURE this was it. I don't know if I'll do any meds next cycle b/c it looks like I'll be Oing the week of Christmas when we'll be in Nebraska, so I'm not sure what my RE does during situations like this.

I'm just so tired (as I'm sure most of you are) of feeling like the only woman in America without a child.

Get your tissues out

2008-12-06T17:41:00.001-06:00

I'm serious.

I ran across this video on another blog. It is very powerful.

Do you have them yet????

Okay, you may begin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

Follie Check!

2008-11-26T12:01:00.002-06:00

There's 4! 19,18,16,16 lining is a 7. The follies are ready, the lining isn't GREAT, but it's not bad either. No IUI, just BD. I would worry about multiples, but with our issues I don't think that would be a problem. Even still if I had to carry four I would and that's pretty much what it boils down to when you "try" in situations like this.

Anyway, I feel optimistic. So please

Do Not Disturb!!

hehe

Nuttin' Much

2008-11-24T20:55:00.003-06:00

Took my last femara tonight and I'll checking for a surge tomorrow. It's looking like we'll probably have to drive to B'ham early on Friday morning for b/w and u/s. I've backtracked my previous cycles with femara and out of 3 cycles I've gotten a positive surge on cd12 and triggered on cd13. That would fall on Fri. this cycle. The Mont. office is closed Thur. and Fri. so unless I get a positive surge tomorrow, I'll be in B'ham Fri. morning. Brett said he doesn't mind b/c he wants to be in Tuscaloosa at our friend's house by the time the Nebraska game come on at 2:30. Men. Good news is that I'll probably get to see my cousin who lives real close to the doctor's office and have lunch. Bad news....I have to get up earrrrrrllllly.

As y'all can tell I've changed the header on my blog from "I Want a Baby NOW" to "Keepin' the Faith". The header has bothered me for a long time. I really put it up there on the fly, thinking that it was funny, but unfortunatley unless you hear me and my goofy accent it only comes across as desperate and ungrateful for the things that I have in my life. So I've changed it. I think the new title suits our struggles perfectly.

In the Meantime...

2008-11-18T17:47:00.002-06:00

Since we've changed our plans, I've been on pins and needles wanting the Holidays to just be over. That is so silly b/c this is my favorite time of the year (I've already started decorating!) So I called my Dr. on Monday (cd2) and asked if I could get back on Femara while we wait till January. He said yes and the pills are in hand (Brett is just sooooo excited about me being back on meds!) No IUIs, just BD. I feel much more relaxed just doing SOMETHING!

Now for a quick vent. Most of you reading I "know" from the ITSG Board. There are rules of etiquette there regarding announcing you're pregnant or mention of children. If you visit the board on a regular basis you know this rule. It's called Trigs. I'll be the first to admit that I had no idea what it meant at first and I had to ask. There are a couple of people that are real sticklers for this and I sometimes think that they are being a little over dramatic with it, but the more I go through all of this the more I like this "rule."

So back to the vent. I've been going to the board for around 9 months now and I've seen faces come and go. I recognize user names and avatars and even when I TAB I went the board mostly to lurk, so I still know whose there on a regular basis. If you've been going to the board a lot and you get a BFP, I completely understand if you get caught up in the excitement of the news and forget the trigs. I'm still happy for you and I could care less if you put trigs on there or not. By this point we've all become friends...helping each other through this process...and I'm always happy for my friends that get knocked up. Here's my issue. There are a lot of lurkers. People that visit the board, but don't post much, either to ask a question or to answer other peoples questions. I understand that if you visit the board and see the support that is offered there you probably know that if you post about your BFP you KNOW you'll get many many Congratulations. Nothing wrong with that. Just use Trigs. If you come and lurk and don't post, we don't know you're there and that you consider this group as part of your support system. So why should I let you off the hook like I would for someone who post on a regular basis. You don't post anything except to say you're pregnant and then you don't even give us a warning???? If you don't even lurk there, why would you go to an unfamiliar board just to say you're pregnant? I don't think this is what happened in this case. I'm just perturbed. I feel used. Does anyone see my point or am I just rambling?

Ok. This only started bothering me b/c it's happened a lot lately. Vent over. Got that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Change of Plans

2008-11-04T08:52:00.002-06:00

I am sorry to say that we will not be doing IVF. We just really can't afford the extra "car payment" everymonth. The money we were hoping to use to pay for all of this is not available to us at this time and we would have to take out a loan and we just can't put ourselves in that position right now. We do have a plan though.

After the holidays we will start treatment again...INJ/IUI. We will do 2 or 3 cycles of those and if that doesn't do the trick we will TAB until the fall.

I'm really bummed b/c it took me some time to accept that we were going to that step and once I got excited about us moving forward, I find out we can't. We'll have more money for that "car payment" in the fall, but I'm not sure I can wait that long to do ANYTHING which is why we're going to do the INJ/IUI.

I probably won't post much until we actually get started again. The way my cycles are running it will probably be the middle of January. In the meantime I'm going to save money and enjoy my Holidays!

I'm an A+ student

2008-10-29T14:15:00.003-05:00

I passed my clomid challenge test! I'm not really sure what they were looking at. I think FSH and that was 9.7 on cd3 and 9.1 on cd10 with a total of 18.8, which the nurse said was great for the CCT. So I passed!
So next we have an IVF consult which I would like to do in the next couple of weeks, so that I can start BCPs next cycle and get this ball rolling. We've got to make some final arrangements financially first though (nobody bought my $1000 cakes, I can't imagine why). So I'm glad that is over and hopefully we can get started with IVF soon.

We do have one more shot with this cycle. I have 2 mature follies, but my lining was on a .4, so it's not very likely we'll get our last shot baby. Stranger things have happened, so we'll just see. I got my HCG shot this morning, so no phone calls the next 3 days!!

Now, I've gotta tell y'all about my dream last night. It was one of those that when I woke up I wanted to go right back asleep.
We had a baby boy!!! I mean a BABY, just born. We couldn't figure out a first name and we were at home surrounded by friends and family who were asking "what's his name" and Brett goes "Everybody meet Patrick" and I just SCREAMED! "NOOO, that's horrible. I'm not naming my baby Patrick"(I don't mean to offend, it's just a dream) So then I guess I realized that I wasn't prepared for this baby and I had to go to the store for diapers and supplies. I couldn't get my shopping done b/c I kept staring and holding my baby. I was so in love with this child. Oh, I hated to wake up. I want to go back to sleep RIGHT NOW!!

I have no idea where Patrick came from. I don't think we know ANYONE with that name. I've never had a child and don't know what women mean when they say they"fell in love instantly", but I got a taste of that last night and I realize now more than ever how much I want this.

CD3 B/W and U/S

2008-10-25T09:25:00.002-05:00

Yes, I know. That was soooo last week, sorta. I'm on cd7 now, but I thought I would give an update on my clomid challenge test (CCT-I've decided to shorten it). So here it is:
Estradiol-67.9
FSH-9.7
The u/s showed 18+ antral count

So what does all this mean? Right now it means that everything is looking good. The b/w numbers are right in there and the nurse said they were "great". The antral count is good also and according to http://www.advancedfertility.com/antralfollicles.htm I'm the "Best" category for IVF, so it's all coming together nicely.

Now if I can just get past these nasty hormones. Please pray for my husband.

Acceptance

2008-10-19T21:48:00.002-05:00

Well, I think we've made a decision. We're IVF bound. Yes, I know there is no exclamation at the end of that last sentence. Somehow the fact that we've made our minds up doesn't make me feel any better.
I know it sounds like cold feet, but it's more of me and Brett just having to accept that this is not going to happen on our own. We can hold out for a miracle, I'm still somewhat young, but we know the facts, we've seen the numbers. It's just not going to happen. Say it again Audra "IT'S JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN"
I'm finding it very hard to accept. We've done all of the initial stuff, the "less expensive" stuff. We jumped right into those. That didn't seem like such a big deal. I'm having a hard time sucking it up for IVF though. THIS is what we have to do in order to have a kid? It just doesn't seem fair. I can handle the medical side of all of this. I know my body is going to be put through the ringer. I'm prepared for all of that. The money will come together. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have to spend close to 15k just to hold a baby in my arms. And then it's my biggest fear... What if...What if we spend this money; we do everything right and then it doesn't work. Yes, we get some of the money back...Wahoo. But that is not going to help with the emotional side. I have to be prepared in case this doesn't work. It's just smart. I'm generally a positive person. I know this sounds really negative. But this is what I'm nervous about the most and I need to be prepared for this outcome and right now that is all that I can think about. The doctor said 80% chance. 80%!!! That's great! but it's not a hundred. There is obviously no 100%, otherwise half the girls reading this right now would have been there done that. I know this is the chance we're taking in going through with all of this. We could do the INJ/IUIs. Those would be less money, but I don't have ANY confidence in those.
I went to the Pregnancy After IF board on WebMd. I wanted to look at some of the girls sigs. and see what worked for those girls. It was pretty mixed. Everything from unexpected miracle TAB pregnancy to IVF #3. I don' t know if those girls have the issues that we have so it's hard to gauge.
OK this is why I took a break. I'm starting to obsess. To the girls that are reading this that have been through IVF, did you go through this stage of acceptance? Please tell me it's just a stage. I don't want to start this process out on a bad note.

BTW I'm on cd1. I'm doing the clomid challenge test this cycle and will go in tomorrow morning for b/w and an antral count u/s. Oh how I've missed my visits with the coochie cam...NOT!!

Bake Sale

2008-10-14T06:22:00.002-05:00

Brett and I are having a bake sale for anyone that is interested. I will bake whatever cake you want me to bake and even ship it for the low low price of $1000. That's right, $1000. What a deal?! Act fast b/c this offer won't last long. I will only take the first 15 offers!!

Any takers?...Anyone?....Anyone?

Here we go!

2008-10-09T21:31:00.002-05:00

Well we went back to the doc today. Got a lot of info and a lot of decisions to make. Basically it goes like this...ahem...

Option 1-INJ/IUI- we've never done injections before. I thought we would skip this step b/c the IUI's aren't working, but he suggested it today as an option to avoid the $$ involved with IVF. Because there are more targets there will be a higher chance of us getting preggers than with clomid or femara. That being said there is a higher chance of multiples as well (27%),but that's just a bridge we will have to cross when we get there. Brett will have to do a more specific SA called a SAP to determine if his little men are up to the challenge. That costs a little money that insurance will not cover. We already know that we're on our own with the IUI, now the only question is how much are the meds going to cost us. I know some people that have to pay approximately $700 a cycle!! I'll hear from the insurance company tomorrow to see what if any of this med (Follistim) will be covered. That will help a little with our decision

Option 2-IVF w/ICSI-This is the one that seems to have the better odds. He told us out of 2 we would have an 80% of getting pregnant! That's the best number we've heard so far. So far we qualify for their Shared Risk program. We would pay for 2 IVF's and if we don't get a live birth(some shared risk programs only aim for getting you pregnant) out of either one we would get a little more than half the money back so that we could pursue other options. So far we qualify for it. There is the clomid challenge test that I need to do and and saline u/s. The doc seems optimistic that I will pass those with flying colors. Brett would NOT have to do the SAP if we do IVF.

This is such a huge decision. I'm so tired of IUI's. They don't work. At least not on me. But Brett wants to try the less expensive route before we go to IVF. I just don't have a lot of faith in the IUI with our situation. I'm just torn.

I think for now on our next cycle I might just do the clomid challenge test since it's not as costly and that will give Brett a chance to do the SAP if we decide option1 and I will have that out of the way if we do option2. I will not do another IUI until that SAP is done.

Aye yeh yeh

Um, I gotta say BFLIE!!

2008-09-24T10:23:00.002-05:00

Here's what Nicole Kidman is saying about her getting pregnant.

http://www.usmagazine.com/news/nicole-kidman-why-i-stayed-so-skinny-during-my-pregnancy

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it is not very likely and if more celebrities would tell of their experience with IF and SPEAK OUT about the emotional and FINANCIAL struggles then maybe insurances would start covering these things. I know they don't have to worry about the money part, but that doesn't mean that it makes this whole process any easier. So, Nicole, Rebecca, J-Lo, Angelina and the others do the women in the REAL world a favor and start fighting for us to get this stuff paid for.

Man, don't get me started

Progress

2008-09-09T10:06:00.002-05:00

It's not much, but it is something. We made an appt. to see our RE for the first week in October. I'm trying to time it to where we can make financial decisions. First we need to see exactly how much this is going to cost us and to find out if we qualify for the Shared Risk program at the clinic. Then I'm going to look into changing insurances. Right now we're on Brett's and it doesn't cover procedures. There may be one with my job that will though and I've got to make that decision before Nov. Gosh there is just so much that goes into all of this. It will all be worth it in the end though!!!

About last night...

2008-09-02T10:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I worked all day and we were delayed on my flight home, so I was in the car driving from 11:15-12:30. Normally, I'm on the phone to pass the time, but since it was so late I was on my own. That was all I needed I guess, just a little time to myself. I had myself a good cry. Yes, I needed it. It had been a while. There were a lot of babies on my flights and I was across from a young family on my commute home. The baby was a little wiggle worm and they were doing there best. He finally clonked out in his dad's lap and his dad just kept looking at him and smiling. That just made me so sad for Brett. That should be him staring at his child.

Yesterday was just a bad day. When will it be our turn?

Oh Clevon

2008-08-16T20:31:00.002-05:00

Well, this video pretty much sums up the whole "It's Not Fair" deal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1sE1E3z7jU

Celebrating 3 years!!

2008-08-13T13:52:00.003-05:00

Today is my DH and my 3 year anniversary. I thought I'd pass along some memories from our years together.

He surprised me on the 50 yd. line on the Auburn practice field
We got married on the bluff in Fairhope. It was so pretty

Yeaaa we're married!!

On the cruise last month. So nice
Family portrait. We need a new one. Preferrably with a stroller in it. For now, our dogs Marco and Bandit provide enough enjoyment. They are our children.

Been MIA

2008-07-22T16:38:00.003-05:00

Man, I've been gone a while. There's really nothing to report when you're TAB. We just got back from a cruise on Sat. and it was soooooo nice. Exactly what we needed. It was nice to be able to have a few cocktails and caffeine; we went snorkeling, none of these things could I have done if we were TTC or pregnant. Of course if we were pregnant I wouldn't have minded missing out on those things, but I would have been TICKED OFF if I had missed out on the festivities b/c we were on meds and then it turn out that it didn't work. Anyway, I'm off on a tangent. We had a BLAST and I would like to know when my next vacation will be.

As far as TTC goes. We're really taking the TAB to heart. I don't even know what day I'm on. There's no 2ww, no femara, no coochie cam. Y'all know what I'm talking about. It's almost like we're a normal couple. Whoa.

I'm sure I'll be going through some ups and downs since I don't have the cruise to look forward to anymore, so I'll keep everyone informed. Until then...

Another day, another pregnant lady that's not me

2008-06-23T12:01:00.002-05:00

I think I've been working too much.

I've worked every weekend this month. Not by choice, for some reason I couldn't hold weekends off, and I decided that since I've been so fortunate in not having to work a weekend in I don't know how long, that I would work my schedule and get some moolah saved for our IVF journey. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. For those that know my normal work schedule you know that if I can get out of going I will. This month I've doubled what I normally worked. So my paycheck will be worth all of this in the end. I've seen Brett for about 4 hrs. a night for 3 maaaaybe 4 nights a week. I got my schedule for July and I'm off for the cruise and what's even better is this: my line has a trip that starts on the 2nd at 5:50am and gets in on Sat.5th, but I already have a trip that gets in at 1am on the 2nd, so I'm not allowed to work the new trip on the 2nd and that WHOLE trip falls off my line and I get ALL of 4th of July week AND weekend. I'm so excited!

Now to the venting...This is a bad job for someone dealing with infertility. There are pregnant ladies everywhere...and that's just the beginning. Families, babies, kids, grandmas everywhere. I know that I'm just jealous, I do wish it was me with my husband and 2 kids and and parents all going on vacation together. WAAAAAAA!!!! I'm just bummed. I'm just so ready for that to be me. Please God help me get through this.

The Human Body is a crazy thing!

2008-06-18T22:29:00.002-05:00

Women have been releasing eggs and giving birth for thousand and thousands of years. A doc has finally for the first time got on tape an egg being released from it's follie. Kinda gross but pretty cool. Takes you back to 10th grade human anatomy (or maybe 6th grade sex ed) whichever you prefer!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7447942.stm

Did I mention...

2008-06-18T10:04:00.002-05:00

How nice it is to not be on any meds. I almost forgot what it was like. Yesterday Brett went to play basketball and I even did a little cheer for him before he left!

GOOOOOOO BRETT!!!!!

I did a toe touch and everything (well as much of a toe touch that a 30 yr.old can do). It's been a long time since I was goofy! Wahoooooooooo!!!!!

I'm SUPPOSED to be TAB

2008-06-16T17:16:00.002-05:00

Although We're TAB it's so hard to not think about starting our family. I decided that I really needed to consider all the options. Adoption or IVF, Adoption or IVF, Adoption or IVF AHHHHHH!!!!! I can't believe how much I go back and forth on this.
I'm pretty self-aware and I feel pretty confident in saying that we'll be doing IVF, but on the other hand, I feel that if you're the least bit open to adoption you should go for it.
I was at work all this weekend and being that it's summer there were families EVERYWHERE. It just made me want to extend ours NOW, not later, NOW. But I know that we really need to take the summer off from all of this TTC business. This is the first time in 6 mos. that I haven't been on any meds and I almost forgot what normal feels like. I mean really, I'm actually happy again!!
Anyway, I guess if I get all this out then it'll help get it off my mind ALL the time!!

My Infertility Story

2008-06-06T17:42:00.000-05:00

My husband and I have been TTC since August of 2006. Like most women I'd always wanted a child, but didn't really know when the time would be right. We had been married for 10months when we were on our way to visit my family for my cousins wedding when my dh surprised me by telling me he was ready to start a family!!! Huh? Aren't the women supposed to be ready before the men. He then informed me that he wasn't getting any younger. OOOOKKaaay. I told him we needed to pay off a couple of bills and at least be married a year!!! Soooooo...

A year past and nothing...crickets chirping...thumb twidling...nothing...nada...zilch.

So we got checked. Turns out we got a tough road ahead of us. So we made an appt. with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). He suggested an aggressive step-meds with IUI. I first started out on clomid (otherwise known as clo-mood-for the nasty side effects). Thank goodness the doc didn't like how my body was responding, so he switched me to Femara(letrozole)-my dh thanks him for this. That drug didn't have nearly as many s/e. But after 4 IUI's we're still twidling our thumbs. We've got to make an office appt. with the doc to see the next step. We know what he's going to say...we're IVF bound. So we'll just wait and see.

I belong to a support group on WebMd. There are a couple of girls on there that have blogs on this subject and it seems that it's a good way to get a lot of the emotional ups and downs out in the open. I'm pretty open about this whole process, always have been and I hope that whoever reads this blog will understand why I need to get all of this off my chest.